Last week I met a senior banker who told me this. “If I was not working in this organization, I would be poorer, but I could be myself.”
This is a common concern I hear most people I meet. What they say and do is not in line with what they want to say and do.
It reminded me of the times when I used to work in the corporate sector. It didn’t matter whether I was an employee, a manager or a lead – there were several times I felt insecure to stand out and felt compelled to fit in. The result was that I felt bad about my stances, my circumstances and my predicament. On retrospect it led to more stress, more insecurity and less sleep. Only when it started to affect my personal relationships did I take the situation seriously and look for answers.
My search led me to three broad questions, which I found to be useful. When I am in doubt and feel insecure about standing out and differing from the pattern, I ask myself these three questions.
Here are the those three questions
(1) If I am not afraid of anyone or anything in this world, what would I stand for? Who am I? What are my values?
(2) If I choose to be true to my values and stand out what is the worst thing that can happen to me?
(3) If I choose to be true to my values and stand out what is the best thing that can happen to me?
So, what are the answers?
I am not sharing the answers for (1), because I feel this is a personal question we need to answer ourselves and I do not want to influence your thoughts. In fact, there are no right or wrong answers.
The typical answer for (2) is this. I will lose some business and some of my friends and acquaintances.
The answer for (3) is always the same! When I chose to be true to my values, chose to act consistent with my values, without being afraid of the consequences – I lost some business, I lost some friends and I found myself. Whenever I chose to stand out, I feel more confident, more happy and I sleep like a baby, more than ever before.
I share with you a short film that conveys this point in a more profound way.
I am eager to know your views. Please post your comments below.
© 2015 – 2016, Manoj Vasudevan. All rights reserved.